Am I Cheating on my Dentist?

H's recent gum surgery was the beginning of the final solution to problems she's had with her front teeth since before she was two. She fell on the playground a month before her second birthday and knocked out the pretty new tooth she had just sprouted in the front of her mouth. We actually found the tooth, which came out root and all, but her (our family) dentist didn't feel that trying to reattach it would be helpful, since it was just a baby tooth. I was heartbroken. She cried for five minutes and promptly forgot about it. She spent the next five years without a front tooth. At first, people just thought she hadn't gotten the tooth at all yet, then they thought she had lost it early. At any rate, other than lots of pictures of her without a tooth, it didn't really matter to her one way or the other.



In first grade, the permanent tooth grew in, finally. I personally think there was something wrong with the root, because it came inREALLY crooked. Then, a couple of months into the school year, I got a phone call from the school nurse. She had fallen on the playground, and knocked it out. This time, we couldn't find the tooth. Her schoolmates still remember the mass search party on the playground, to no avail. So once again, she was toothless. The first prosthetic tooth she got was really bad, but we were so glad to have something there that we lived with it. It wasn't crooked, and we knew it was temporary, so it was o.k.




Over the next 7 1/2 years we went through different variations on the tooth: one attached to her braces, one attached to metal bands, and another with little wings on the back that were glued to her existing teeth. She had another problem, though, which was a genetic problem that she shared with J. Her teeth were stained kind of yellowish-brown. No amount of brushing could get rid of it, so we did some composite bonding, which never really matched the fake tooth. Luckily, she is a beautiful girl, with a beautiful smile, so even though her teeth weren't ideal, her smile made up for it.

Through all the variations of temporary fixes, our family dentist did the work. He's a really nice guy, and does regular cleanings and things for us, and fits us in when we need emergency care (like gluing her tooth in every time it fell out). We really like him for our regular dental care, but we always thought we'd go see a specialist when it was time to do something more permanent. He does some cosmetic stuff, and his website lists his education, but he doesn't really have any aesthetic certifications or degrees. The thing is, J and I were big wimps about telling him. Last year, H started expressing an interest in getting her teeth fixed, so we asked around and got several recommendations for a cosmetic dentist here in town, Dr. Dennis Wells. Dr. Wells does a lot of celebrities, even did the "Extreme Makeover" show and has all kinds of aesthetic experience, certifications, and degrees. We really feel comfortable with him, and consulted with him and a periodontal surgeon here to establlish a plan for H's teeth. But through all that we never told our family dentist. J had a cleaning a couple of months ago, and I told him to mention it, but he said it never came up, so he didn't do it.

Yesterday I had my regular appt., and since H has started the process, of course, I had to tell him. I hated telling him, because he's been so nice about working with us over the years, but I really thought he'd understand. He's not a cosmetic specialist...and H's problems are not even close to being typical, or easy. But he was really upset. He looked at me like I had just stolen his pension or something. I started stuttering, like I always do when I'm nervous, and said,

"It has nothing to do with YOU...You're great! We just thought we needed to go to a specialist."

He said, "Well, it sure seems like it has EVERYTHING to do with me."

I felt like I was a teenager breaking up with a boyfriend..."It's not YOU, it's ME!"
Anyway, after I tried to justify our position, and he scolded me for quite a while, he said, "Well, you have to do what you have to do." Then he stood up and walked out of the room, saying "Bye" over his shoulder as he walked down the hall.

Something tells me he won't be fitting us in for apppointments in the future. Jeez.

Mini City

I was looking through some old pictures for a slide show of H's nine years at her current school (she's changing schools for 9th grade), and I came across this picture of me and my little brother when we were kids. What is it? We're like giants in a little miniature city. My mom has no idea. Something tells me it was some kind of amusement park or something. Kind of cool. I wonder if the doors and windows worked? It's like a whole city of playhouses.

Antibiotics four times a day???

H is all better now, other than the occasional, "Wipe the blood off your teeth, honey." We had a nice Mother's Day brunch with my mom and dad, and took a few really nice pictures outside afterwards. I just downloaded them and in every single one, she has a big swatch of blood on her front tooth. Oh well. She has one more day of taking the antibiotic we had to start taking last week...FOUR TIMES A DAY. I don't get that. There are long acting pain medications, cold medication, birth control, allergy relief, and I'm sure there are once a day antibiotics. Why, in God's name, do they give kids a medicine they have to take four times a day? Must be because moms are in charge. If my husband had to take something four times a day, he'd never take it. I would probably forget about it myself until bedtime, and then take all four at once. But since I'M IN CHARGE I am so good. I have a little notepad next to the refrigerator and the bottle of pills, where I jot down every time she takes one. She is the champion of taking medicine, I tell ya. Properly spaced out, she hasn't missed a single dose. And I take full credit for it.

Happy Mother's Day!

To all the moms, and future moms out there...Happy Mother's Day!

Mother's Day thoughts

It's the day before Mother's Day, and I've been doing a lot of "Mom" kind of things. H made it through day one after gum surgery. She's been incredible about keeping ice on her mouth, so the swelling isn't too bad. I've been spending the last two days making up ice packs every twenty minutes, and making soft mushy foods. Her appetite hasn't suffered, so I guess that's a good thing. She slept in our bed last night, with me. (J slept in the guest room). The most difficult part is sleeping with her head elevated. She slid down off the pillow in the middle of the night. I tried to get her to wake up and move so that she was more elevated, but she wasn't having any of that. So, she woke up with blood crusted on her teeth (I know, ewwwww....), and a couple of Angelina Jolie-like lips. The pain medicine let her get a good night's sleep, unlike me, who woke up every hour to check on her. It's now almost noon and she hasn't asked for advil or pain medicine, so I think she's on the mend.

I think she's going to look back on this fondly, because she's had non-stop TV since we got home yesterday (something she NEVER has time or permission to do), and she loves the soft diet of ice cream, noodles, applesauce, pudding, oatmeal...stuff she lived on as a two year old. The only thing she will HATE, is that I'm posting the above picture of her with the ice pack on her mouth.

Speaking of two year-olds, here's a cute little video in honor of Mother's Day. I wish I'd had digital video when H was little. They talk like this for such a short time...



I love being a mom. It's the best job I've ever had, and I'm grateful for every minute of it.

Gum surgery for my daughter

When my daughter was 2, she fell on the playground and knocked out her front baby tooth. When the permanent tooth grew in, in first grade, she fell on the playground at school and knocked IT out. So she has had issues with her teeth for almost her whole life. The first prosthetic tooth she had was awful. The color of the tooth didn't quite match her other teeth, and it had a really fake looking gum at the top that sat on top of her actual gums, so you could see it when she smiled. She is a big smiler, and has a really wide smile, so you could see it all the time. Luckily, she didn't really seem bothered by it. Through the years she's had trouble with it coming out, usually when J and I were not there or we were out of town.... when she would bite into an apple at school, or when she was at summer camp in North Carolina, and we were in San Francisco, or when we were on vacation in the middle of the Caribbean. Then, as she got older and basketball became way more aggressive, head butts or elbows to the mouth, or basketballs in the face knocked it out periodically. So she has spent a LOT of time in a dentist's chair.

With all the problems we've had with the multiple temporary prosthetics (they didn't want to do a more permanent solution until she got older), we decided to see a cosmetic dentist. She's starting high school (at a new school) in the fall, so she is finally ready to do something about her teeth. Long story...she has other problems with her teeth as well...she is scheduled for 10 veneers for her upper teeth which will include a bridge for her prosthesis. But first, she had to get her gums fixed, so this morning, she had two "crown lengthening" procedures (to make two teeth on the right match two on the left), and a soft tissue implant next to the missing tooth so that the veneers will fit correctly.

She had to get there at 8 a.m., no food for six hours before, and I went back with her while they sedated her. The periodontist put in an IV, which freaked her out at first but was almost painless. He gave her the anesthetic and just a minute or two later she was in la-la land. The whole procedure took less than two hours, and then they called us back to get her and get the post-op instructions. She had ice on her mouth and tears in her eyes, which really worried me, because they had told me she wasn't in pain. But they said it's common after surgery because of the side effects of the Versed. But she wasn't hurting. We took her to get a milkshake (to be eaten with a spoon, not a straw), gave her a Darvocet so that when the numbness wears off she won't be in much pain, and now she's sitting up in our bed, icing, eating the rest of the milkshake, and watching a "Friends" marathon. She's in heaven right now because it's not hurting. I don't really know what to expect, they say in 72 hours her swelling will peak, so at this point there is not much of that yet.

She is being good about keeping the ice on it, which is a good thing. She has to keep her head elevated, too, to keep the swelling down.

To be continued...

Disordered eating vs. living a healthy lifestyle?

I've written in the past about my obsession with exercise. I think it boils down to the fact that I like the way it feels when I've had a good workout, and it has helped prevent the weight gain that most of my relatives have experienced in their adult years. I love having a goal, like a marathon, a century, or a triathlon, and training to see the completion of that goal. I also enjoy cooking, eating, and having an occasional glass of wine or two. So, is my "obsession" with exercise, and eating well actually "disordered eating"?

Sixty-five percent of American women who responded to a national survey by SELF are disordered eaters. Eating habits that women think are normal—such as banishing carbs, skipping meals and, in some cases, even dieting itself—may actually be symptoms of the syndrome. Although disordered eating doesn't have the lethal potential of anorexia or bulimia, it can wreck your emotional and physical health, says Cynthia Bulik, Ph.D., director of the eating disorders program at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill.

The online SELF survey garnered responses from 4,000 women ages 25 to 45 to a detailed questionnaire about their eating habits and found that most disordered eaters fall into one or more of six categories. Calorie prisoners are terrified of gaining weight, tend to see food as good or bad and feel extremely guilty if they indulge in something that's off-limits. Secret eaters binge on junk food at home, in the car—wherever they won't be found out. Career dieters may not know what to eat without a plan to follow; despite their efforts, they're more likely than other types to be overweight or obese. Purgers are obsessed with ridding their body of unwanted calories and bloat by using laxatives, diuretics or occasional vomiting. Food addicts eat to soothe stress, deal with anger, even celebrate a happy event; they think about food nearly all the time. Extreme exercisers work out despite illness, injury or exhaustion and solely for weight loss; they are devastated if they miss a session.

Like me, who Bulik might describe as a calorie prisoner and an exercise addict, many "disordered eaters" piece together a mix of "destructive" habits. Others may shift between categories over the years, ricocheting from restricting to bingeing to purging, for instance.

So if I didn't exercise 6-7 days a week, or if I ate full portions of desserts, or fast food, would I be considered "healthier" because I wasn't preoccupied with my diet or physical fitness? I don't think about it constantly, I just know that if I get up a little bit earlier to fit in exercise, or eat only a bite or two of a food that is caloric, (instead of the whole thing), or avoid fried foods, that I feel better and fit into my clothes. I do realize that living this way can get out of hand, and it also makes people uncomfortable if they don't exercise or eat well, but why is it that everything has to be diagnosed away as some kind of psychological mumbo-jumbo?

Water is Overrated!

When I was a little girl, my Grandma kept 8 little figurines on her windowsill above the kitchen sink. Every day, she would move one over to the other side of the windowsill every time she drank a glass of water. For years, she drank 8 glasses of water every single day, no more, and no less. She lived until she was 92, and as far as I know, other than a few mild strokes, she was very healthy. It could have been the fact that she didn't drink alcohol, that she lived and worked on a farm for most of her life, or that she had good genes, but it probably had nothing to do with her drinking her eight glasses of water a day.

A new study published in the Journal of the American Society of Nephrology, by Dr. Stanley Goldfarb and Dr. Dan Negoianu of the University of Pennsylvania debunks the health value of "guzzling glasses of water to flood yourself with good health".

Goldfarb and Negoianu examined what Goldfarb called "four major myths" regarding claims of a benefit for extra water drinking: that it leads to more toxin excretion, improves skin tone, makes one less hungry and reduces headache frequency.

"Our bottom line was that there was no real good science -- or much science at all -- behind these claims, that they represent probably folklore," Goldfarb said.

Even more validation that drinking Diet Coke instead of Water won't kill me. Well, maybe the aspartame, caffeine, or phosphoric acid will kill me, but not dehydration.

100 Things About Me

  100 Things about me

1. Now that we're empty nesters, we split our time between Nashville, Lake Toxaway, NC, and Snowmass, Colorado.
2. I’m a mom to a college student-yikes!
3. I’m an exercise fanatic
4. I love to eat (thus #3)
5. I grew up in a house that had NO ALCOHOL…EVER
6. I looooooove white wine and cucumber gimlets (Thanks, Tim Love)
7. I have crooked fingers because I broke two of them in sixth grade
8. My first job was dressing up as a bunny and standing in the street handing out muffins for “Bunny Bread”
9. I taught aerobics for 20 years.
10. Took sports broadcasting class at UT Knoxville from Lindsey Nelson
11. I have two black labs, Rosie and Sugar
12. I got the nickname "Esa" when I was 10 and my tennis instructor (from Australia) couldn't pronounce my name correctly.  I can still hear him say, "Keep your eye on de ball, Esa!"
13. I’d rather be in the mountains than at the beach
14. I don’t like sticky, humid, HOT weather, thus #13
15. I love to snow ski more than any other sport
16. I have run and completed nine marathons, five triathlons, and one century (so far)
17. #16 hurts way more than it used to
18. I straighten my hair
19. I love TOP CHEF...bought every season on itunes and rewatch every episode over and over
20. I don't eat meat, poultry or pork, and my daughter is vegetarian, so I'm constantly looking for good recipes that will give us enough protein.
21.My new favorite winter activity is "skinning" uphill on skis, then skiing back down.
22. I love when it rains and I’m at home
23. I like to show up early to appointments and catch up on my reading
24. I took dance lessons for 13 years
25. I’m unbelievably proud of my daughter
26. My husband is my best friend
27. I love to travel 
28. I’m a browser…I like to wander around in stores for hours
29. I read constantly…anything I can get my hands on
30. I take benadryl every night so that I can stay asleep while my husband snores next to me.
31. I was born in 1960…you do the math
32. I think I’m in menopause already
33. I have a fantasy of living in Paris one day
34. I love to go for a run whenever I visit a new city
35. I nibble…take a bite of something, wrap it back up, and keep on until it’s finished.
36. I eat around the edges of cookies and throw the middle away.
37. I majored in Broadcasting, graduated “with honors” and never worked in the field.
38. My first job after college was as a part time waitress and I made more in that job than I would have if I’d taken the job I was offered at a radio station.
39. I miss going into my daughter’s room at night when she’s asleep to watch her.
40. I hit a moving train with my car, totaled my car, and walked away without a scratch.
41. I’m still afraid of trains.
42. I hate the popped collar look.
43. 80% of the clothes in my closet are black.
44. I was a cheerleader in high school and college.
45. I played basketball in junior high when girls only played half court.
46. I ran track because I had a crush on a hurdler.
47. I gave up all meat except fish April, 2010.  Sometimes I really miss bacon.
48. My heart skips a beat when I see my husband across the room.
49. I often have anxiety attacks in crowded places.
50. I have watched every episode of “Friends” and "Top Chef" so many times I can quote blocks of dialogue.
51. I like aisle seats in an airplane.
52. My favorite part of first class is the hot nuts.
53. I like to get the meal they serve on the airplane, even if I don’t eat it.
54. I need to chew gum after every meal. I don’t know why.
55. I have a hard time saying “no”.
56. I have one brother, two nephews, and one niece.
57. When I was little my grandparents didn’t have an indoor toilet, we had to use the “outhouse”.
58. I saw my grandpa tear the head off a chicken that they served for dinner.
59. I didn’t eat chicken for a couple of years.
60. I cry very easily.
61. When I speak in front of people, I get a red blush on my chest.
62. I wear turtlenecks when I have to give a speech.
63. My hair started turning gray when I was 25.
64. I love the pretzels they sell on the street in NYC.
65. I used to buy fake purses and watches in NYC.
66. My favorite restaurants in NYC are David Burke's Townhouse and Craft
67. I know where to buy Theory and Tahari in NYC for 40% off!
68. I was proposed to on a carriage ride in Central Park.
69. I went for a run once in Woodmere, NY and got lost in Queens.
70. I’m a terrible clothes folder.
71. I’m not very neat.
72. I love to take long bubble baths. With Candles.
73. I used to wear glasses, then contact lenses, and now I don’t need either…I had my eyes surgically corrected (Lasik)
74. I hardly have any eyebrows.
75. I love Disneyworld.
76. I once took a sleeping pill before getting on a plane for a red-eye flight and fell asleep in the airport bathroom.
77. My husband makes me laugh every day.
78. I apologize too much
79. I never know what to say to family members at a funeral or memorial service
80. I HATE to ask for money.
81. I love to run, but have to run by places with bathrooms or port-a-potties because I can’t go six miles without having to go.
82. I drink 4-6 diet cokes every day...with crushed ice if possible.
83. I only drink coffee after dinner, if at all.
84. I love all kinds of nuts, peanuts most of all.
85. I rub my husband’s back in bed every night.
86. I can never remember my dreams.
87. I love mushy gushy love stories
88. I have acrylic nails (cause mine are like paper)
89. I drive a hybrid car
90. I worked at Opryland, USA in high school
91. My ears are pierced twice (in each ear)
92. In college I could easily get to seven keys in Pac-Man without really thinking about it.
93. My first concert was Billy Joel
94. When I first got my driver’s license I used to skip school and drive all over town, just for the hell of it.
95. I absolutely LOVE the smell of fires burning in Colorado when it’s cold and snowy.
96. When I was 16 I worked at “Bonanza” and dropped the sticky table cleaning rag into the vat of iced tea and didn’t tell anyone.
97. I have an irregular heart beat, and had a cardiac ablation a few years ago to correct exercise induced ventricular tachycardia. 
98. My resting heart rate is 49.
99. I wish I had thinner legs.
100. I would rather spend time with my husband and daughter than anything else in the world.

To my 14 year old daughter...P.S.

I was browsing through the mom blogs on the Mom's Alltop site (which is a great way to scan through tons of blogs to find the most interesting posts), and came across White Trash Mom's post "I'm sorry it sucks to be 14". She hits the nail on the head with the whole "size" issue. Only the girls who are beanpoles can really wear the clothes that "everyone else" is wearing. It's hard enough for me to try not to pass on to H my fear of obesity (which runs in our family), and my (sometimes unhealthy) obsession with exercise. Most of the time, she is totally happy with her beautiful self, but when she goes in to try on clothes and has to go up a size or two, or the clothes just aren't flattering on her, because she doesn't weight 80 pounds, I can see her getting upset. I guess we all go through this at this age, but I don't remember the clothes being so tiny when I was 14. I really love one of the comments on this post, saying "You might add that if Marilyn Monroe were around today, they'd send her to the Woman's department at Macy's. And all of those Size 0s? In 50 years, they'll look really great with their decorated walkers, seeing as how their bones will have crumbled by then."

I'd like to add a P.S. to the letter:

P.S. I'm also sorry that you're discovering that friends who are starting to notice boys in a whole new way will totally leave you in the dust if you don't feel comfortable with flirting or dirty dancing (which you call grinding). That if you want to spend time with the girls you've known and loved since Kindergarten you'll have to also spend time with boys who are girl crazy and flirt and tease your girlfriends, making them think the boys really like them when they're just playing and having fun.

I'm sorry that you're sad when your friends choose to be with other girls who are into the things you don't like. But I'm also proud of you for standing your ground, and reaching out to some girls that you wouldn't otherwise have gotten to know. Being 14 kind of sucks, but it does get better, I promise.

Stay true to yourself. You might even start liking those silly boys, and you might enjoy the attention, instead of it making you uncomfortable. You might even make some new friends. As the years go by and your confidence and maturity grow, you will look back and think about the lessons you learned during difficult times.

I wish someone had written a letter like this to me when I was 14. I probably wouldn't have taken it seriously, anyway. I knew everything back then.

Greystone Inn's Potato Soup

If you've ever read any of my previous posts, you know we spend a lot of time in North Carolina. It's a community called Lake Toxaway, and it's a beautiful, turquoise lake at the top of a mountain. We found it 7 years ago, when we stayed at a resort called The Greystone Inn. Over the years, we've stayed there several times, then we started renting homes, and finally, last summer we bought a little place of our own there. We don't get there as often as we'd like, since H is so busy at school, but whenever we can get away, we're there.

Last week, while H was in Washington, DC, on a school trip, we spent the week there. It was so great. Our dog, Rosie, was in heaven. We hiked every day to a different waterfall, went mountain biking up Cold Mountain Road, swam in the lake, and J tried to teach me to golf. Not a pretty picture. He only let me use a 3 iron, and a putter. I teed up in the fairway, and still embarrassed myself.

We ate dinner on night at the Greystone, and I ordered this cream of potato and leek soup that I didn't think I'd like (I don't like creamy soups...too fattening), but ordered anyway because it came with the meal. It was so great I ate it all, and asked for the recipe. To my surprise the "cream" came from blending up the potatoes and leeks...it was a broth soup, and only had a tablespoon of olive oil in it!

Don't pay any attention to that description. It was phenomenal! I made it tonight, and J and H loved it. It's super easy, too.



Here's the recipe:
Potato Leek Soup


1 tablespoon olive oil
2 cloves garlic, chopped
2 1/2 cups thinly sliced leek (about 2 large)
5 cups cubed peeled Yukon gold or red potato (about 2 1/2 pounds)
5 cups organic vegetable broth (such as Swanson Certified Organic)
1 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper


Heat oil in a large saucepan over medium-high heat. Add leek; sauté 5 minutes or until tender. Add potato and vegetable broth; bring to a boil. Reduce heat, and simmer 25 minutes or until potato is tender. Place 3 cups of potato mixture in a blender. Remove center piece of blender lid (to allow steam to escape); secure blender lid on blender. Place a clean towel over opening in blender lid (to avoid splatters). Blend until smooth. Return pureed mixture to pan; bring to a simmer. Stir in salt and pepper; cook 2 minutes, serve warm.

Garnish with chives and croutons, if desired.

Yummy!

Email time machine!

I'm a list maker. I make lists all the time...on the back of envelopes, on the "memo" function on my phone, sticky notes all over the place, etc. I find that the more times I write it down, the more likely I'll remember it. Sometimes I even call my home phone to leave myself voice messages. The only kink in that plan is I have to find the list, and actually read it, or actually call my voicemail to pick up messages.

Is voice mail becoming a thing of the past? I used to call mine constantly. Now, I am lucky to check it once a week, and even when I do, I will save the message and promptly forget it's there. Email is better, because at least it's already written down. I just have to remember to go through old emails to check on things I need to do. I just came across what might be the next best thing...

I found an interesting website that will let you send emails in the future! Use it to remind yourself to do something that you’ll more than likely forget, keep your future self on the straight and narrow, even wish your friends happy birthday... I could email myself to remind me to make a hair or nail appt., buy birthday gifts, get something at the grocery store, etc. I haven't actually used it yet, but here's the website in case you want to check it out.



It's called Time Machiner. Add this to my list of things to do...email myself.