Tuesday, February 23, 2010

The way he loves me

My husband owns his own business...he runs it from just about anywhere. That is a good thing when we want to spend weeks at a time in North Carolina. He still needs to check in every now and then, but he spends more and more time in our home office. He is always busy...answering emails, writing ads, talking with clients and employees, putting out fires all over the place, and running to meetings several times a day. But it took awhile for me to get used to having him here.

I'm sure it took him awhile to get used to seeing me in my pajamas until 3 p.m., and it took him several months to learn that I like to read the paper, do the crossword and Sudoku, and drink my coffee in the morning without talking about everything HE reads in the New York Times.

I had to learn to share the exercise room. We're both kind of exercise fanatics. We put in an exercise room a few years ago, with a treadmill, stair machine, elliptical, spinning bike, stepmill, and various weights and things. When J went to the office every day, he would use the room either before or after work. Now, I have to share it...which means he takes command of the remote control for the TV. I'm always behind on my shows on the DVR that he hates...Grey's Anatomy, Brothers and Sisters, Desperate Housewives and Big Love. It's OK, though (said through clenched teeth and a forced smile), I like watching Fox Business News and reruns of The Dave Ramsey Show.

We're both busy, but seeing each other every day for more than a few hours at night has become very comfortable. We each have our own worlds. He goes to his business appointments, I go to my volunteer meetings, shop for groceries, cook dinner and we both have various medical visits. Even though I try to remember which ailment he is visiting a professional about (hips, neck, back, etc) I don't always keep up with it, and I really didn't think he had any idea about my rare doctor appointments.

So yesterday, I did some work, went for a run and jumped in the shower around 11:30. J said, "You have your pulmonologist appointment today, right?"

I was shocked that he knew I had my follow up visit with the doctor to discuss my exercise-induced asthma that was just diagnosed about six months ago. I was even more shocked when he said,

"Do you mind if I go with you?"

I said, "Sure", but I was very weirded out by it. He hasn't gone with me to any kind of doctor's appointment, other than when I was pregnant with H.

He had a meeting before my appointment, so I really didn't think he would make it on time. But after I parked and started walking in, he drove up. When we were sitting in the waiting room waiting to see the doc, he told me he just wanted to make sure I really had asthma.

He said, "You are so physically fit, and you've exercised your whole life, so I just can't really believe you have asthma."

I was a little offended. Did he think I was making it up?

I introduced him to the doctor, and he sat back and listened for awhile. Then he started firing questions.

"She doesn't always need the rescue inhaler, is this typical?" (YES)

"Since her attacks are usually exercise-related, is this really asthma?" (YES)

"Will she always be asthmatic?" (Probably)

"Why did she have to stop running a few times last week?" (Cold weather triggers asthma)


But the last question, more than any of the others, kind of touched my heart.

"What do I do if she has an attack and we don't have an inhaler with us?"


My strong husband, who loves to take charge and rarely admits he needs help, just wanted to know how to take care of me.

It may not sound like a lot, but it's one of the reasons I love him.